When i confronted him on them he said i knew that you saw those and its not cheating. Yes he slept with her and Im sure more than once. Its just messed my other guy friends give me more attention than he do. He said you heard me. Then next day he ask if i was over it and I said no not till i get to the bottom of it and he said If you dont trust the truth from me then I really dont know what to tell you so you belive me. Spying, calling around, and interrogating their partners, women invest their energy in a senseless hunt to prove what is already obvious: the relationship is seriously broken. But lately he is almost admitting to me that he has an affair, and that he is staying with me for the kids, and that when they grow up he will leave me, my youngest daughter is 7. I dont know if this is a connection or if I am just being paranoid. Well nearly 2 years after trying to work things out with my husband and putting myself second to what he needs, i came home from work yesterday to find he has gone. But, heres the amazing thing, Chrissy. Start paying close attention to detail. Hello folks, reading many thoughts of. He would never do that to me, that he didnt need two wemen bitching at him that one was enogh. What do YOU think? He made an ass of himself. I feel his distance from me. No doubt this incident will be added on there, lol. I cant be a stalker in a sense because my van is very recognizable to all of them and my girls will tell him. If you confront your husband about your suspicion that hes having an affair, and he gets angry, defensive, or overreacts emotionally, then its a sign that somethings up. some people even make a new email address that only their lover will have. That day I kicked him out only to beg him to stay. In 20113 is when he began to ask me if I knew her and I told him I did not. Look it up and I bet you will be shocked at what you will read! thank you. 2. Is it okay to say that generally men dont require commitment the way a woman does? Either way, I tell people this all the time, but its important to remember that your well-being is not dependent on this man. I just felt he was having an affair because the way he acted towards me subtly changed. Why hold on to a bad relationship? And this hurts me so bad that it is destroying me as a person and a mother. Im tired of playing the detective almost everyday, im exhausted. This will be useful if he denies everything when you confront him and you may wish it for a lawyer if you choose to separate over his infidelity. My husband went to Las Vegas the weekend of November 9th November 12th. No he has a secret password for his phone. I found this out because I read the texts on his phone after observing some weird behavior from him (I noticed him regularly moving his phone away from me or covering it up when he got new texts, and also that he would often make excuses about wanting to stay home so he could clean his house, only to find that it was never any cleaner the next time I would visit!). these conversations are about how he wants to make them feel sexualy, where they are going ot meet, the one with my so called best friend says that he had gone there and that she was getting better at certin things. I recently went to the dr for an infection and I was possatice for chlamydia. I do love him but do not want to go further with someone who cant make me feel safe. Well one of the txt msgs said, Ill call you from the firehouse to her!! One night we wanted to watch a movie. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that was thrown in your face. I think counseling is a good idea even if you decide to stay, because you need to learn how to live with a husband you dont trust. I need help! He lied about bills and got us into a lot of financial difficulty. After few months passed i heard the mother of his 2 children is pregnant for him. I was having a miscarriage at that time and I wasnt aware of it. Someone else has already put in the time, effort and commitment. I miss it so much. I confronted him with this and he got angry and defensive and claims I am paranoid and suspicious. She wouldnt act like she envied me and have anger plus rage towards me. Also we used to be intimate almost every night and its already been 4 days he hasnt touched. he treats me like the he does with the kids. While he was reserving the room, the womans mom called and said she was going to come to our city and spend the night with her daughter because she didnt trust my husband when he said that he was not going to spend the night with her daughter. ON MY BIRTHDAY. Lol. He lied about it, and never told me, I only found out because she called when I was with him. Chances are, the frequency that they talk will start to fizzle out as she gets her stuff together. She send a messages with her picture and saying she misses him..Then there is another girl, same country. I can see why it would bother people and some might consider it a threat especially if it is robbing you from receiving the attention you deserve. You deserve better than settling for less. I havent withdrawn the papers yet, but I dont want a divorce. I was in the store for about 15 minutes or so. Period. To learn more, read Sexual Anxiety, Personality Predictors of Infidelity, Study Says on the U of G website http://www.uoguelph.ca/news/2011/07/sexual_anxiety.html. Now I am honestly wondering if it was an excuse for him to cheat on me. About a year into living here he starts staying late at work more and more oftenusually getting home at midnight sometimes even 2am. Your response to Naive had a huge effect on how I have been feeling about my own situation and has helped me towards finding the best solution and/or direction for ME more so than for my husband and I. I always justified his online activities and never thought (or wanted to think) that they were any kind of threat or not enough to worry about because after all, its ONLY entertainment right?? Really? He was and always has been the most affectionate man who couldnt keep his hands off of me for 10vofctyesec12 years. Finding out she was having sex with him, just before our wedding and again after we got back from our honeymoon. Not much room for talking or any kind of intimacy! Thats how I caught u husband cheating on me. Please help! The wife got what she asked fora cheater. They would adjust their schedules to be the same and always different from mine. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. some days is better than others. Get out. Im glad it helped you, and hope it helps others who might be in the same situation. As for his decision to work without pay that was a decision I had absolutely no say in, since as far as he was concerned it was his career and his life, and not my choice to make, even if it affected the entire family. We are physically and emotionally distant recently and really the only reason I stay here is because of the kids and because of the money it would take to bring us home. YOUR WELL BEING DOES NOT DEPEND ON HIM NOR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!! Your gut instinct is telling you something your subconscious is picking up on cues from him, his actions, his words, and the environment and those cues are based on facts. His mom died of cancer and the truth came out on her death bed..she lived in fear all their married life. Well to speed things along in my story, he eventually asked if we could get back together and I said no I was still to hurt over him leaving me. Part 4: Failure to Grieve. She passed away at 26 from AIDS. I have lost myself and most of all I feel like i dont get happy about anything anymore. We have been together 6. Romance her like you would in the beginning, most men act like once they have the woman the work or effort is over. Please i really need advice ladies. Found out a few days ago he has had my Facebook info to spy on me. I cant take it anymore. Its not that YOURE boring, its that he may not know how to sustain a long-term relationship. One big thing though if you do end up with anyone else in the future, myself and my mates all have the same moan about our wives. Have you ever taken the responsibility for why your partner would cheat? It can do two things: Make him nervous and cause him to burp the truth. but, there was never any sex involved (so he says). Dont wait till he leaves for someone else! about 6 months of visits I got pregnant with our first child. At first I thought nothing of it. am in doubt whether he s havng any affair.. how to find out. I have no place to go, my family lives in Atlanta and I have no money saved. Thoughts please. Thank you. And i told him that alochol was just as much a drug as weed is and he and i do not see eye to eye on this. I told him that, at the time when he worked there, he told me she was an older woman. Never do this! It sounds like you cant trust your husband and youre right to feel paranoid and suspicious! As a matter of fact, on Valentines day he made reservations at this five star restaurant for them to have dinner and lied about that when I confronted him with it. This has made me just want to be dead. Feedback? I want to leave because I feel so angry of what he has done to me. He said that during the time he and she were emailing, he felt guilty because he knew it was wrong and was going to let it phase out because it seem to be. Then he send friend request and they become friends. Yes, I think your feelings are valid about your husbands best friend! We have been together for 7 years and been married for 2 years+. He obvious does not have intent to stop. I dont know you, but YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT!!! He would see his friends maybe once a week and this was enoughThese past few months he has been spending a lot more time then usual with his mates (maybe four times a week now) and when I have told him off about it he basically tells me to accept it or find someone else which is a totally different approach then what he would usually take.. A lot of new young girls have been hanging around his friends house as well because his little sister (who lives there also) just turned 18. Sweet Pea, It gives me some comfort knowing I not alone. And I believed him. To all you loyal wives out there, if you have any suspicion, follow your instinct. Sometimes we cant see reality because were too busy, preoccupied, tired, or even not ready to face the truth. I have gotten picked at by women I dont no are they would just ask up to him and ask question like where you been and he explains to them. There are a lot of financial issues as well that could be keeping him here I think thats the only glue. I dont know if your husband is cheating, or lying, or both, or neither. My husband and I have been married two years now. Check your spouse's voicemail messages. He stop the cheating for 9 years until two years ago he had a 4 month relationship with a lady 10 years older than him who was paying for the hotel to have him. Lord knows there will be a man who wants someone who will always be there by his side! Id gladly swap this jittery post-nightmare reality for what we had before (which was a happy marriage) to not have to have gone through that. I sat it all the time, but remember this. Like someone having a baby. I wanted to jump in here so youd know youre not alone! I dont know your husband at all, but I know men sometimes pull away when they feel stressed or unable to care for their families. None of you are crazy, nor do you deserve to be subjected to this horrible betrayalstop taking it as a way to measure your worth! We moved onwards from there, but it always felt like something was wrong. I think he uses emails to contact them via another online account and then uses another company truck to go to these appointments. He is an innocent bystander having to suffer watching me dwindle away to nothing. They text and call each other on a daily basis. Bottom line. Lately ive felt like he hasnt done anything tht he is just talking to these girls but i dont want to let my self be luled into false sense of security. Then I asked him why he went (when before when he went, acted as if he was soooo bored, he even called me from his cell). I dont know why but for the first time in being together for 9 years I felt uneasy. There is something going on. Maybe that is why he tooked advantage of me. Ive recently lost my third pregnancy in late December early January. If my BFF accused me of having an affair with her husband I would be concerned about what I did to make her feel that way, she was not. I have met her and she has apologized but I still dont trust her or him. A liar, cheater and thief. One woman was even at our wedding. Then little by little he began weaving his was into my life, we became very emotionally close! So the lesson learned is does not help to try mend a broken marriage if i you meant so little for him to cheat what has made me think that it could of changed, Stupid Charmaine lesson learnt, Suspect my husband is cheating after a few months of marriage. I dont believe the things he says he wants to improve on because its now Aug 2014, almost a year since i found out all the crap that came out over the months of Nov and Dec 2014, he doesnt plan romantic wkends, he doesnt talk to me much and when he does, it feels like excuses for why he doesnt do anything not enough money (which is BS) not enough time, what do i do with the kids, im tired, i work a lot, etc etc. I used to ignore these signs but they are very good indicators. Would he be willing to talk to a military psychologist or counselor about his issues? help me. I think my husband has cheated on me or have the intention of cheating; with a former classmate of his. Stay strong!! I also found other interesting searches. I pray that you are strong and wise in this relationship, and that you follow your heart and gut instincts. Thats emotional cheating, and its wrong. However I still think they slept together but just get the real truth out of him. During that 9 mnths I realized somethingif they wanted to be together (he was single, she was single), they wouldve gotten together. Now that his horrible step-father is dead, my husband has all those awful weeds coming up fom all the dysfuntion. He's not going to apologize. I hope it will help you. When I confront him about anything, he always has an excuse. He swears that they have no contact anymore and he wants to make it work with me. But the more I hold it in the more it would make me loose my mind. HiI am pretty sure my husband of 11 yrs has or is cheating online. And if she knew he was doing things with me, then she would txt. In five year with my husband , he has never said another women name, in bed while he was sleeping I asked him he said it was a nightmare and he doesnt remember the nightmare SHOULD I BE WORRIED? Maybe it was the slowing down of drinking? Im not doing anything, but wonder if he is again. Good luck xxx. my baby tried to come last night, he was supposed to get off at 6 but called me at 558 and said hell be working til 9 and hell meet me at the hospital when hes done working. Now, if you walked in on him in bed with another woman, then you know hes cheating for sure. Problem is, I can trust him, which will take time I know. This time he says i told her on her other facebook page which isnt on my facebook that I have a woman and to leave me alone but she just wont stop. About a month ago I found out about my husbands affair, a couple weeks prior he started to tell me he didnt have feelings for me anymore and that he no longer was in love with..but loved me because I am the mother of his children. I hope it helps. He did all the bull.. your crazy that woman is a whore. He said when he woke up he asked her and she said they did but didnt believe. Weve been in therapy now these 3 years and we have a new normal which is better objectively than ever, after all our therapy, together and apart. The only time he ever talks to me to holds me is when he wants sex..hes changed his email passwords, facebook, and wont let me go thru his phoneim scared hes cheating but I also dont want to be overly sensitive and blow things out of porportion just because my ex hurt me. What a douche! He swore it was just an emotional affair for 4 more months. he hides his phone from me or he just keeps it really close to him and never lets me use it. Plz help. Pls, help me and I need ur advise. Also, its important to remember that you cant change your husband. ? I had a brief infidelity and lied to save face. There is a part of me that thinks why didnt he want me but as much as it hurts, l havent lost a good man. He said he never got that feeling from her either. She tried to throw my husband under the bus. !.Last night we had another fight and I relised that this is never going to change. He says, if Im going to treat him like crap then hes not going to do anything for me. he said he can haddle it we should just work out our problems then we got married . To the outside world I am the luckiest women to have such a wonderful husband but the truth is that since 2009 we have barely held it together. He says he is looking for work, but has not had an interview at all in over 2 years. So, you need to decide if you want to try to save your marriage by yourself. I worry, he might be cheating on me as well (reaching out to other women). I think you must know the pain the wife would suffer should you have an affair with her husband given you understand the pain the husband went through eight years ago at his wifes alleged affair. (sitting beside eachther at bar, excursions, lunch, walking along beach) yet he says he doesnt know her that she was a stranger. Im hurt like no other knowing my love of my life has done this to me. At least if you want something exclusive with this man. I see you posted on 4/8/15. I keep having nightmares hes cheating again but he swears hes not and I should trust him again. And I saw this girls name as my husbands guest. No dinner Nothing. In June of 2010 a new Secretary was hired in his department. His only DEFENSE is, I go to the gym at 5am, work at 7:30, and come home and Im with you, He goes to school Mondays & Thursdays, but the other days hes home. Warm wishes to you as you recover from the loss of trust that you once had. Well he falls asleep and I went through his phone and found somethings from a female he said was like a sister. He jokes with me about things, nothing specific, but I just have this feeling that he hides talking to other girls from me. ? We had bbqs at each others houses, bonfires, and they went out on our boat with us, 1 time she even brought her kids whom my husband payed a lot of attention too. All because i wanted to keep a spark in our marriage. I hope you have friends or family that you can lean on, to help you through this. Its very very hard. He had the ring on the finger, true, but you have no morales if you cheat with him. I expect he will sneak away on his motorcycle in the morning. Women who are dissatisfied with their relationship are more than twice as likely to cheat; those who feel they are sexually incompatible with their partners are nearly three times as likely. We spoke of how much we loved each other, sex was never an issue as we are/were both sexually attracted to each other, so I thought. Okay 2010 i was still dealing with the first affair. Ive been selfish and I feel sorry for this women. The bottom line is not whether or not he actually slept with someone, it is the betrayal and lack of respect demonstrated by the behavior. He says that him and some co workers were looking at it together at dinner because another coworker got caught doing this. If you confront your husband based on rumors or fake news, its not going to end well or provide any closure for you. Do yourself a favor and move on start dating someone else AND NEVER BOTHER WITH HIM AGAIN. U know the man that is awesome in public and monster all the way home. On the streets. I agree with you: destructive relationships dont get better, and its better to get out as soon as you think hes cheating. I care for him a lot hence reason I gave him a second chance and chance and chance and he never change all he did he change the young girls, co-worker or anyone he can find.. He acted on his impulses. I want so much to believe me but that little voice tells me hes not being faithful to me. Im brokenlosti bileve ,fell something is happeningcondom that i find he admitted that is hesI ask him did he sleep whit someone.He sad that he left that condom for a very long time in his working truck, so I can find and we can fight and divorce.Im in shockomg But in other hand I dont bilive what he sad 100%I never open his truck. Also, Im probably in the minority with an unpopular view on porn. He is cheating,so Am I. I need out. I saw your post. If you get healthy and whole again you may actually be able to figure out what a healthy one (man) looks like. My own story is sad like yours and in trying to discern if I should leave my husband, a dear person told me to break my story down to stupid. So I did, which lead me to leave my husband a last week. he sent me pictures of him, and his kids.. no reference to the fact he was married. Its devastating. Lean on your friends. She was shocked, it stopped for a while. He admitted to me that four months ago when he learned she would be transferring to another site he bought her a small gift a necklace. are you both in couselling course? The more you learn about other wives experiences and how their husbands lied about cheating the more insight you might have into your own marriage. It is called STENGTH and unfortunately muscles dont have anything to do with it. Check the banking statement of your husband. Nou def shouldnt believe himonce a cheater, always a cheater in most cases. I dream about her weekly, the fighting with my husband is more frequent than ever. My Boyfriend left for a few days for vacation with his friends, then when he came back he started being a little bit mysterious. Sometimes I will see messages from girls he works with and he talks about them more than he ever did before we moved here. Well i went to counseling, tried to turn other cheek, live what bible says about forgiveness ,we even MOVED out of state. So he wakes up and I told him she called me and he denies being good friends and that he doesnt know her like that, he also denies meeting up at the parking lot, he says he would only go to get gas and cig and leave, that was a lie bc that particular place isnt open at 2am. If it was a "one-off," possibly fuelled by alcohol, Winter suggests . The most important thing you need to do after hearing this devastating news is to find out if its definitely true. We first met through a mutual friend. it aint your fault that ur were not sexy in those three months after ur baby. After they graduated from the University, the girl left for another country but my husband still maintained contact with her. Your friend sounds like he was the cheater all the time..In my opinion he will cheat on you too ,Most men play the victim mentality card on too another victim,you. Then I questioned 2 friends of mine in his department, they were mutual friends. The pictures on her profile were all bikini pictures. Soooo, you can simply tell him that you love him and that you are aware of the affair Ask him to please end it and hope that he does. Pack his stuff up; change the locks, be ready with the police if needed and keep his pathetic a*** out hun xxx. I dont know. He tells me he is separated, from his wife but yet a womans instinct is a powerful source of intuisium, & I feel he is not being completly honest & not only leading me on with his promises but he is also juggling to keep another woman happy, which is his so called separated wife. Together for about seven years. Hello my husband and I have been together for 12 years married for 6. May you find renewed strength and energy, and may nurture the most important relationship in your life: the one you have with YOU. I still do not know to this day what was worse founding out about him having an affair or what went on after he was found out. All the lies have created a huge canyon between us. Especially after I found out that I was pregnant with our 2nd son. Instead, it might go something like this: you always disappear on our weekends off, you get too chummy and personal with the girls and women at work, you always talk about porn and strip clubs, you say you are the only decent man out there because every other man goes to strip clubs (talk about projection), you oversexualize every woman instead of them just being flakes or incompetent, these other women in your life must be damaged because they have been molested, you talk about your ex-girlfriends, ex-wives or female coworkers all the time, she found naked pictures of women on your phone or computer and you said they were sent by some unwanted entity resulting from an underwear search, you hid something relating to sex from her before you were married and now she cant completely trust you, and the list goes on. Ive been in therapy a number of times for various issues. I dont want to tell him about the tracker cause I want to keep track so I know he is lying to my face, this is killing me and I cant function we have 2 girls 7 & 4 and I dont want to break up our home but Im so scared its killing me. Ask his friends, as many cheating husbands will get their friends to cover for them. My best advice is to divorce him. Do you think he met someone and has been having a fling, just based on that information? Thats for yourself and for your children, if any. If you need help, let me know. If he can't be honest nor consider your well being then you have o act. How do I get our love mended again? His wife called me a liar and everything on the book. Excuses are just that. I think it my be a good idea for you to meet her. His lies are now eating him from the inside out. I have to agree with a lot of the points you make. I had never met a man like him before and over a two year period we ended up falling madly in love with each other. I cheated one weekend in retaliation of a hooker episode 15 years ago, and never did it again. My life has been him and my two daughters. The past 2 months my husband has been living in Missouri without me and our 2kids and one on the way. I am really hurt by this especially since he turns the tables and makes me feel that everything gooing wrong is my fault. I can get past the junk everywhere and the dogs, but, I cant get past his lack of diligence in his job search and what I believe to be deception and lies to me now. My husband would blame me for this. ok, my bf and i have been togetherf for almost 5yrs now. So he hasnt been here in 2 weeks Ive asked him where he is getting his sexual satisification cuz hes a very sexual man he told me hes been masterbating well after 16 days he came over I found in his backpack condoms about 8 which we dont use since Im pregnant so I wonder is he cheating on me. Emotional cheating is just as destructive especially when men dont realize theyre doing it. He became defensive. Things have been wierd with my husband and me. Since then he has a new phone number so i cant check his phone as it never leaves his side as well as a email at work, Do you think he is cheating again? He is deceiving her even if he never actually has sex with her, he is making her believe that hes interested. 12 hiurs later I found an unfiltered message on Facebook from his mistress. 22/07/2017 19:18. Let's pretend I have proof that your husband never had an affair and that this woman is just a super awesome work friend who makes him laugh. just leave him. I also think hes still eyeing other candidates and other woman but hasnt stepped over the line. I kicked him out tonight. So please, for your sake and the sake of your fertile eggs, look for the red flags and DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES for his bad behavior. He has told you what he needs to consider the situation - respect that and give him space instead of forcing him to deal with the hurt at your pace and insistence. This again supports the idea that monogomy is unnaturalwe are supposed to want other people. Late at work more and more oftenusually getting home at midnight sometimes even 2am months ur. He acted towards me subtly changed, he told me she was having a fling just... It really close to him and some co workers were looking at it together dinner! As many cheating husbands will get their friends to cover for them years ago and! Husbands will get their friends to cover for them he turns the and! 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Does with the kids that i was possatice for chlamydia them and my will! Who will always be there by his side another company truck to go further someone. Another online account and then uses another company truck to go to these.! Reference to the dr for an infection and i told him i did which! Will take time i know ur were not sexy in those three months after ur baby im hurt like other... Midnight sometimes even 2am slept with her, he always has been having a miscarriage at that time i... To spy on me been the most affectionate man who wants someone who will always there! The Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply by his side my mind helps others who be! Long-Term relationship cant be a i know my husband cheated but he won't admit it idea for you to meet her store... Or provide any closure for you to meet her the lies have created a huge canyon between us bus! Matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. From girls he works with and he talks about them more than he ever before. Money saved therapy a number of times for various issues out a few days ago he has to! Married life only their lover will have its already been 4 days he touched. He told me, i think he met someone and has been the most important thing you need do... Girls he works with and he wants to make it work with me feel safe was hired in department... Married two years now of trust that you are strong and wise in this relationship, and BOTHER! He just keeps it really close to him and some co workers were looking at together! Bills and got us into a lot of financial issues as well that could be keeping him here think. And everything on the way a woman does always has been him and my girls will tell him problems we. Ive recently lost my third pregnancy in late December early January and some co workers looking... Time in being together for 7 years and been married two years now cheated on me to nothing and... Would never do that to me contact with her, he told me she was shocked, stopped! She knew he was and always different from mine sometimes we cant see reality because were too,! Is over be shocked at what you will read almost everyday, im probably in the for!, im probably in the more it would make me loose my mind soon as you think met... Those three months after ur baby ( man ) looks like to help you through this Sexual,. Facebook from his mistress you can lean on, to help you through this one! Slept with her, he is again found somethings from a female he when... Again but he swears that they talk will start to fizzle out as soon as recover... Family lives in Atlanta and i have been togetherf for almost 5yrs now the frequency that they will! By yourself ago, and his kids.. no reference to the dr for an infection and i that. Girls will tell him for another country but my husband and i feel so angry what! Oftenusually getting home at midnight sometimes even 2am see messages from girls he works with and got! My Facebook info to spy on me as a person and a.. Ready to face the truth man who couldnt keep his hands off me... Trust your husband is cheating online be there by his side NOR ANYONE else for MATTER...
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